44: ADDICTION AND MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES? GARON GETS IT!

Depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and homelessness shaped Garon Green’s early path—but his story is one of powerful transformation. In this moving episode of the Overcome Depression Podcast, Garon opens up about his journey from addiction and isolation to self-awareness, healing, and empowerment. Aaron reflects on the fear and emotional pain he had to face and how therapy helped him find tools for true mental health recovery.

Through deep vulnerability, Garon shares how building a supportive environment, embracing spirituality, and learning to let go of the past helped him overcome depression and anxiety. Now helping others as a therapist in The UK, Garon’s story is a beacon of hope for anyone seeking depression healing and lasting change through resilience, courage, and inner growth.

View all LINKS and supporting content mentioned in this episode HERE: https://imaquarius.com/addiction-and-mental-health-troubles-garon-gets-it-chapter2-44/

This episode of the Overcome Depression Podcast is for you if you want to learn:

• How to overcome depression, anxiety, drug addiction, and the deep isolation that can accompanies them
• Why seeking help—especially through therapy—can be a turning point in mental health recovery
• The role of fear and emotional pain in healing and how to face them courageously
• How homelessness and addiction impact mental health—and what it takes to rise from rock bottom
• Why a supportive environment and even small habits like cleaning your room can change your life
• The importance of vulnerability, spiritual connection, and letting go of the past

Chapters

• 0:00 Garon Green’s Journey: From Depression and Homelessness to Healing
• 2:40 Battling Drug Addiction, Depression, and Isolation
• 5:10 The Turning Point: Seeking Therapy to Overcome Depression
• 7:06 Therapy and Mental Health Recovery: A Lifeline
• 10:54 Therapy Tools: Cleaning Your Room to Clear Your Mind
• 15:10 Self-Discovery in Depression Healing and Recovery
• 17:25 Spirituality Meets Therapy: A New Path in Mental Health
• 21:40 Mental Health, Spiritual Growth, and Self-Development
• 24:54 Vulnerability, Blame, and Emotional Healing in Therapy
• 28:03 Forgiveness, Growth, and Letting Go of the Past
• 32:31 Building Resilience: Challenging Negative Thoughts
• 37:35 Therapy Tools and Mindfulness for Depression Healing
• 41:19 Embracing Emotions and Observing Your Thoughts
• 42:15 Asking for Help: Community, Support, and Healing Depression

Transcript

0:00

I wouldn't say so much thinking positively I think it's more having a solution-focused approach because if we have a look at what we tend to do when we're in that mindset whether it's beating ourselves up because we're not good enough for the world or blaming the world because we're in a particular position Until we've kind of worn ourselves out and looked at every single possible scenario we could possibly get through this. if we keep going around on that, not gonna find the answers we seek. And it isn't so much as saying, right, okay, you're in a real tough time and I expect you to sit down, bring in positivity. The last thing we're gonna do is that. But at the same time, what this is, is realizing, okay, I've been here before. How do I keep going around in this cycle? What can I change within this moment now? Instead today we are welcoming Garon Green, who is an NCPS qualified counselor for anxiety, depression, grief, and addictions in The UK. And boy, does he have a story. And thank you so much, Garon, for being so vulnerable and willing to share your story, because I know your story and wisdom is going to help give others hope and encouragement that we so desperately need in this world so that they can overcome some of these things too. So you've dealt with homelessness, cocaine addiction, abandonment. You got pretty close to taking your own life. Some really, really dark, tough stuff. And yet you are a living example of lasting triumph over evil. You are now free of addiction. You have a thriving counseling business, and your experiences give you that depth of understanding that allows you to help others who are dealing with some of these things. So To start, will you tell us where your mindset was when you were struggling? got you there in the first place and what kept you there for so long? Well, quite hard going back to journey because there's kind of two sorts of aspects of how I dealt with things life in regards to challenges. Had one being the counsellor and one not being the counsellor. And I go back to the time of it all first started off for me, I started. reducing from taking the cocaine which I was taking to the point I massively isolated myself and at that particular time I had my best friend passed away from a motorbike accident and that really hit me hard and throughout my time for addiction I lost a lot from my friends through either overdoses or suicide was quite tough to swallow. I myself had enough of my cocaine problem to the point I looked around me and had this kind of reality check of who am I, who are these people around what am I doing with my life? To the point completely had enough. felt massively isolated and I think when we go to that dark place one of the hardest things is being alone and having someone to be there and the harsh reality is true there was no one there for me there was countless people I in the past and when it was my turn nobody was there and that hurt. That did hurt. at that stage in my life, I'd become more resentful towards the world. Instead of working with where I was, I was more resentful why am I in a position, why are people turning their back on me? You know, I'm a terrible person, etc, etc. Beating myself up to the point remember being on a railway line back in 2010, pretty much hoping this train was going to take me out and would I say courage? Or was I coward? But to this day I still question how I got off the lines and the train went past me and I remember punching the stones on the railway line and I was that frustrated that I couldn't take my own life. You know, I was a wimp, was a coward. didn't even have the courage to do that. So was was an angry guy, really angry guy after that particular moment. And I carried that for a while. And that's when I went into isolating myself, somebody who was quite happy going and out and about, even traveling on my own. without whatsoever to somebody who which I moved into and I locked myself away for nearly six months. in my parents, spare bedroom Wow. that's isolation I you mentioned is kind of the pivotal marker, for lot of dark places that people find themselves That's kind of a similar thread throughout all of the stories that I hear is just very alone. of the belief from a Christian mindset that that is the goal of the darkness. is to get us to that place where we feel alone and hopeless enough that we stop trying, that we give up all hope and we despair enough that we never make it back. And yet you did. And I feel like it's somewhat rare. was listening to someone else talk about a cocaine addiction on another podcast and they went to a rehab clinic and he was dubbed the least likely to succeed by the people there. And he was the only one of five thousand people that went through that clinic at that time who turned it around and never came back. So it's gotta take some, don't know, grit? Decision? I mean there's usually some kind of moment of decision where you decide I can't do this anymore. I'm never going back to be able to actually succeed. It can't be a maybe. It can't be, I'll try. It has to be 100%. Would you say that that's correct? Well yeah, for you to make the change because again with any form of addiction we can lapse or relapse and normally nine times out ten most people do that's what I tend to say to people, expect to have that happen and that's where we learn and we become more resilient. I myself, I wasn't fortunate enough, I had no money or anything at the time so there was no way me going to rehab, I definitely wouldn't have been able to afford it and I generally had enough of my addiction. I did just stop. I had no help whatsoever from anybody with my addiction. I generally had enough. that was when I had a look at seeking support. I spoke to my mum at the time and I said to her, I said, you know what, failed, I need to get help, I really need to get help. So it took me a while for about six months to get the courage to go and see a doctor to say, I need to break out of these four walls. When I went to the first doctor, It's a bit of a reality check which happens went in there and spoke to this particular female doctor when I told her that I was sat on a railway line happen. Believe it or not Jennifer she actually sniggered at But again I can relate to the person you heard on the podcast people putting that person down saying well they're going to fail well... in a box and almost like, I've had that happen to me on lesser levels, I suppose, different things, but it hurts. It hurts so bad. That snicker. I mean, it's, it says a lot and maybe they don't mean it that way. I don't know, but the way that I interpreted it, it hurt. Yeah. like yourself. I was walking around very angry and years back, it would have been highly likely I'd have probably been arrested and well let's just say damaged the room we were in but I didn't I walked away and don't when I inquired to have a look for some therapy support and at the time there was some support there and I thought being a guy don't need any help because we know it all and thought I'll give it a try because someone must be able to listen to me or or put me in the right direction so to I yeah of course yeah I know everything already that they're gonna tell me. Why would I pay them for advice? I wish I could change myself. I know these things, but them telling me again isn't gonna change the way I feel. That's a lot of the things that would go through my head. sure and we do we've become quite as kind of part of us being defensive because When we get support we do make ourselves vulnerable with let's be honest telling people who we don't know our darkest secrets so anxiety and depression as you know can work together quite well and the depression of pulling myself to go to the appointment and The anxiety peaking up when I was driving there, I mean, I had to pull over a few times and I, I'm not gonna lie, I'd heard of anxiety, I'd heard about panic attacks, but I'd never experienced one before, but I pulled over about five or six times because all this anxiety, and then panic, I thought I was having a heart attack at one point, but something kept me going. Well, you know, that's incredible because again, the Christian way I look at it, I believe that the darkness works on our fear and uses fear to try to get us not to do the things that will help us the most. And so when I'm really scared, I've learned that that's the way it's the thing I'm afraid of. And so you driving to the therapist and the darkness throwing all this stuff at you like, no, you shouldn't go. She'll hate you. She'll think you're so stupid. She'll snicker again. You know, all those things and trying to scare you out of doing the one thing they knew would help you the most. that's kind of the scenario I see happening with a lot of anxiety is stop this person. Don't let them make progress. I find that really interesting, view on that, it's very similar to how I look at things. There's different times when I've been in tough times, I look up and I'm like, seriously? So I have an argument. I'm like, seriously, not today. Yeah, so I mean, I can relate to your approach. I find that really interesting. how many of us have that barrier of fear in front of us? And how scary is it to step across that barrier? But the only way we're going to find out the truth and find our answers is when we have the courage to step, beyond that barrier of fear. That's where we truly discover our answers, which is a scary move to make for many of us. the darkness comes out and it convinces us the best it can to say, well, avoid and run for the hills and something inside. You're like, I actually no I'm going to turn around and face you this time. you went to that appointment, which was kind of a pivotal experience for what I've heard in your other podcast when I got there and the therapist was there, it was really interesting. I'm not gonna lie, I had all sorts going through my mind when I sat in that waiting room I always get anywhere early if I can. And those 15 to 20 minutes felt like hours because I had so much going through my Interpretating, fortune telling, I was having all these cognitive distortions going on. I always remember I sat there and I chuckled a bit because the door opened and reflecting back now my stomach dropped kind of like jumping on a roller coaster ride when she opened that door but I'm glad I walked through it I'm glad I walked through it And what I remember you also saying was that you were kind of put out, because you're like, a woman? Like, I wanted to talk to a man who can understand me. can this woman possibly know about what I'm going through? This does not look like a woman who can help me. yeah, you're just like, what have I done? But then she said something to you in that appointment that kind of made you angry at first, right? like you said, when I saw her, I'm instantly judgmental guy. I straight away. And she was quite a bit younger than me. I'm a young and I think, geez lady, what I've got in here, you're not going to cope with. And that's where I was with my mind. partly embarrassed to speak to a woman about my problems and we made some progress and she was using some CBT on me at the time and that's quite interesting Therapy. yeah, that helped a little bit with challenging my thoughts, which was really good, and bringing do, you form relationship with your therapist because you're on that journey together, and you do go through the ups and downs. she was making progress, I always remember, she said what's your room like at your parents' house? And I was, I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm afraid it threw me off. I was like. Huh? What do you mean, like? And she was like, oh yeah, instantly I'm like child mode what am I 16 years old? You I know how to tidy my room. So my head was defensive straight away. And I left the session, really pissed off and put out. annoyed. I was like. you know, what am I, bloody 16 again? I know how to tie it in my bed, Jane. And I always remember, it's really weird. mind you, was in between. getting myself outside, going for night time drives that helped build my confidence with the depression and anxiety because as we know go into that comfort zone and trying to pull ourselves out of that comfort zone bubble is quite hard. and I remember sitting in my room and I had a lot of studio stuff It wasn't dirty or anything like just disorganized chaos. And this is the next day after and I So I had all my cables everywhere and I remember sitting down and looking and I was like... I suppose I could actually clear these cables because they have been like that for a little while. And I started doing it. And like what a book you recommend. I've ordered that book by the way. you want me? guide to a clean house and mind. Wasn't that what it was called? the one, yeah. And it was really interesting. I started clearing my room. And I'd done one corner and I bounced onto the other ones. And when you're stuck in that isolation stage, in depression of tidying your room, let's be honest, it's just as equivalent as climbing a mountain. The amount of effort it takes to pull yourself out of that hole and... have that traction, motivation. I actually feel it now, gosh it feels so long ago. I see my clients do this now. I was really proud of what I put together, just tidying that small part of my room and eventually I'd done that whole lot. And that's going from somebody who couldn't even walk to the local shops. Five, ten minutes walk, I'd get halfway, bang, the anxiety peak. Turn round, jump back into my comfort zone, close my bedroom door and, hide away from the world. And it was really interesting what I've learned with people over time, especially with some people who go to rehab and people I've worked with throughout my career. people always say about this, tidy room creates a tidy mind. And when I've said that to different work colleagues, and I've done 16 and a half years of working in home sector to addictions, to where I am now in therapy, and many colleagues have had a similar background to me. That's why some of us do the work we do. Generally said, we all agree on that because some of them learn that in rehab, and I thought... How interesting that something so simple can spring us into something so big. And as you know yourself, it's getting that motivation to be able to do it. And that is probably one of the hardest transitions I ever had to make. Yeah, it really is. was kind of on the opposite end where the depression and the anxiety that I dealt with, it was pivotal for everything to be perfect. Or I couldn't function very well. Like I really needed that order. So I was a little obsessive about things being clean and tidy to the point that if it wasn't, I was out of sorts. It would stress me out to the point of... being more anxious and angry depressed. So that was kind of a lifeline for me know, my parents had more than one child and the house was often messy, but they made sure I had my own room, my own space so that I could keep it clean and I could go in there if I needed to and just kind of shut the door and have my space. I wonder if that's... why when I start making aha moments of, my gosh, I can heal this? No way. That was already kind of in place and I had to relax on it a little bit because it was kind of an unhealthy level, but it was easier to move forward because I had that clean space, clean mindset. wanting to stay morally clean as well. I was raised with the idea that cleanliness is holiness is being closer to God all of those things. Not to say that anyone has to have an immaculate house all the time, but that having that almost temple-like thought that the room that you're in, the reflection in it, can inspire the way you feel and think and move and it makes it easier to Get inspiration, I think, because there's not all of these distractions around you. And I find that really fascinating, you know, with yourself, you're just kind of opposite with me, as I call people like that, I say the Greyhounds, you want to get everything done and fly through it really fast, where I was caught kind of more slowed down and isolated. It's but as you know trying to pull that in the or whichever either side you're on and creating that balance maintaining that, you know yourself, is really hard to do. So it's really well done for you to pull the reins back. And as you know, we're not perfect. We are humans. We are, going to wobble sometimes. I know myself every so often, as I call it, anxiety gremlin will jump on my back but Instead of me letting it overtake me and absorb me now, I'm aware when the triggers come down, not saying I get it right all the time because I'm learning every day, but I'm becoming more aware of it over the years, especially as I call it the anxiety gremlin, it jumps on your shoulder and you know it's there. I mean, but what do we do in the past? We kind of ignore it. We think, we just carry on. But now I turn around and face it. I'm like, okay, I'm aware of you now. let's dance, let's have a fight. So I do, tend to, I tend to challenge it more. think that's why, becoming a qualified therapist kind of solution focused really. I mean, working with clients and giving them the ideas as you know yourself, sometimes we have to hit this stuff head on we have to step across that barrier of fear, which is scary. But we learn. We learn Yeah, and gremlins can look kind of freakishly scary, especially if you look at the gremlin and it looks a lot like you. I don't think it's us, but I again, that darkness wants us to think that we're ugly, wants us to think that we are the monster and that there's nothing that can possibly change that. And there's even been times when is a little out there, but I was reading a book about ancestors and how ancestors' karma ancestors didn't get it. They passed on their problems to their offspring and it's in our in the behaviors that we're taught and they just never quite overcame those things. And then a lot of those are still here. and a lot of those are still connected to us. And that the book encouraged process where you would look at yourself in the mirror, and you could do this with a therapist where they're looking at you, but if you wanted to do it on yourself, you would look at yourself in the mirror and try to straight into the eye and focus on that one eye. And what she described was that you'd often see Dark outline or almost like a spirit that wasn't yours come out and I thought I'm not gonna see anything but I'll try it and did it and I looked in the mirror my face started looking old and It started to almost like turn black and I could see something outside of it and I had to stop I was like, my gosh. my gosh, what's in there and wasn't me and I knew it wasn't me But I was like, okay, I have some more work to do. And this wasn't even, I want to say a year ago. So layers and layers and layers. think people get discouraged when they hear of, oh my gosh, this is so much work. But time is a gift. And it doesn't have to looked at as work, as much as just interest, curiosity. What is this? Yeah? Joe? it out. It doesn't have to be brutally hard to let things go. letting things go, the whole connotation of that is let's make things easier for you. And I can say every step I've taken towards mental health and bettering my mental health, I thought, wow, this is the best I've ever felt. And then I'll reach that next level a breakthrough. wow, this is the best I've ever felt and it just keeps getting better. Not that I don't have downturns, because that's usually what inspires me to do some more work, but then the mountain I get to the top of after was better than the one I was on before, if that makes sense. you hit the nail on the head. It was perfect to what you said in regards to the layers, because as tear one layer across, we've got another one to explore. we all have challenges every day and, ups and downs, welcome to life, but it's really interesting. You've given even myself a bit of insight. in regards to looking at it as more of a journey and even though I kind of interpret it a little bit different to yourself, with me if a life scenario happens I process quite quick. I'm very grateful for the tools I've learned. with most therapists what these are ideas, these are theories, they're not facts. Some of them work wonderfully well, But It's turning around and facing this stuff and when you get through it, that amount of relief you have and some of us we're not used to giving ourselves praises and I found it really powerful that faced the mirror. And I use very similar here in the UK and I normally say to my clients, know, eventually I want you to be able to go and face the mirror and be proud of who you see. So it's really interesting what you guys do over there in the States. work similar to you guys. I learned in therapy, Most of the people that I have gotten help from are life coaches, religious, spiritual, energy healers of that sort. I had therapy when I was a child that was comforting. liked that. I think that therapists are starting to cross over into that area where energy healing has been for a while. And that's been exciting for me to watch because they're starting to use some of those modalities that are actually able to change those neural pathways and release people from the grip that addictions and all of these things have on them. So I think therapists and therapy is making big strides forward. Sure, it's in. it takes science a little while to catch up to spirituality. And I think spirituality can get kind of convoluted too. So you have to be careful either way. Choose your therapist wisely. how far do you go into spiritual. It can be an ugly place if you go too deep. be wise and make sure you're aligned with the light and all of that. Yeah, that's right. And I find that really fascinating you're always exploring this, you're always learning. And I find it interesting what you say, because obviously I can only say what goes here in the UK, but I'm attuned to the likes of Reiki. And I went down that route of of spiritual understanding because When I was at that stage in my life, I was seeking something and I didn't know what. but it's interesting because it's become more accepted over here in the UK more the spiritual element. So I'm, it's like what you said there and this is what I really admire about you Jennifer is you can go into this rabbit hole but you have to be careful because you can push yourself too much with these things. I think We need healing more than ever. So many people are suffering. So many people are sick. we need more people who understand and know their worth so that they can in turn help other people to do the same. we're it feels a lot like a losing battle right now. a me. I look at the big Farm and it makes me a little sick to my stomach because It's making things worse, not better. And most of the people that I know who are in depression are taking some form of antidepressant, which makes them not want to get help. I understand because I've taken it. I took it for 10 years. But on the other hand, it just makes people very complacent to the point that they're like, I'm good. And they just kind of stay there and it's mediocre. Mediocre is no way to live. I think a lot of people think this is the best I can get. because what I had before was so much worse. But me being on the other side, you being on the other side, I'm telling you, it gets so much better if you're willing to have some faith and take the jump. And I'm not saying stop taking your medication today. Let a doctor help you with that. That could be disastrous. But there is a life is so much more joyful with or without it before. I don't know if I said that right. But I think you know what I mean. when I went down the route myself and I did try antidepressants, generally didn't work for me. it's right that people do wean off their medication. They do not just stop. I think that can cause people... more problems you've got to remember you've got to change your mind process so having those chemicals at the time I think they can help to certain extent but if you are ready to take the leap of faith let's be honest we find answers once we do that. it's fascinating that you... part. And for some people, it gets worse before it gets better. But I would encourage anybody who's preparing to get off their medication to overdose on omega-3s like crazy. I mean like... big time. You're eating fish three days a week, you're taking an omega-3 every day, you're eating lots of nuts of was the saving grace for me. That is why I was able to get off of it. was deficient in healthy fats. Your brain needs healthy fats. can't say that's every single person, but I can say that most I've suggested that to who's done it They noticed, with or without the medication, that it changed their anxiety level. It made them more calm and able to think. just throwing that out there. Anyone who's thinking about weaning off with help of a doctor, go crazy with the Omega-3s. It can't hurt you. Let's just put it that way. It's a healthy approach, good on you and you found your own wavelength, you've got an answer to a prayer. hooray, for you too. that said, I wanted to ask you a few more questions. What makes people resist vulnerability so much? isolation we go through, the lack of it can feel quite immense we're not used to... being on our own and we can go down the route of kind of internalized blame with ourselves. So, while sometimes we can eventually move past it if you like, there's a phase what we tend to go through which can be a degree of self blame. which again keeps us trapped. Or like I did many years back, blamed the world because of where I was. it's hard to go through that stage and process it. it's how we respond to difficult reactions, but sometimes it can really keep us from moving forward. So it's learning to deal with these one at a time. That's what I tend to say to many of my clients is breaking this down. If we've got a big cake in front of us, so to speak, we can't swallow the cake in one sitting. oh It's the same as our thought processes. try to understand it. We try to do it all at once. We go into fortune telling because we think this worst case scenario is going to happen. And as you know, we go through that spiral and we completely exhaust ourselves for that. So learn to break this down into segments and we deal with one thing at a time. So again, we have that entrenched thought pattern, we have, know, We're not good enough. Why did these people treat us this way? Because That's how we kind of defend ourselves stand our ground and our way of we release these feelings. If we have a look at anger and frustration, for example, when it first kicks in and we don't really know how to control it. Let's be honest, the last thing we are gonna do is look in that mirror and just say, right, that's all your fault. Everything you've done is your fault. we go externally. And then we can start blaming ourselves afterwards. So we stay stuck in that area for quite a while seems like it's this preoccupation with blame. Someone must be to blame, and just pointing fingers everywhere and then eventually pointing it back at yourself and, it's all my fault. kind of beside the point all imperfect people who make mistakes, and the mistakes that other people have made that have hurt me have given me opportunity. to grow in ways that I couldn't have without them. And I've learned to be grateful for the people that hurt me for that reason. They gave me this experience. And believe that karma is real. If some of these people have not changed, they will eventually. They'll have to. It's just kind how it works here or there on the other side. But it's not my job to hold on to the pain that they offer to me and suffer for it every day when you don't have to. That's just letting them win over and over and over again. Or rather darkness that caused them to do it in the first place because I don't think anyone here actually wants to be a bad person. I don't think anybody, not even the worst of the worst. I don't know why or how they think. But if we don't let go of that, their karma will become our karma because we just won't let it go. And so if you can instead be grateful for the opportunity to learn to experience something that will then give you the opportunity to help other people who've been through things that were equally as awful, you are then a blessing to others. I've learned to look at it that way, I'm not always successful, but I really try. I've really tried to forgive everybody and to move on and wish them the best. Like genuinely wish them the best. Again, not always easy to do when someone's hurt you and they don't apologize. Or they don't feel bad. I think the hardest. When someone apologizes, it's like easy peasy, you are forgiven, no worries, thank you for saying sorry. not as easy when they're still gloating or still continuing to try to hurt you, right? Sure, and this is accepting what's happened. And as I say to people, know, I'm not saying what happened to you in your past is right. But there's generally nothing we can do about the past. We're never gonna change that. But if we have a look at this in a more productive way, we grow it's gaining that resilience and that confidence to and grow from that. these people have treated you wrong, we're human, we don't want to be hurt or any of those horrible feelings we can feel sometimes, but at the same time, it's letting it go Because again, the more we keep attached, the more we're going to keep them in our world and less of a chance we have a chance to progress. But we've got to make that transition into moving forward. and, That transition and that acceptance is a real hard pill to swallow. But once we start learning to do that, we can truly grow instead of being held back by the past. And I would add too, if you're in a situation where you're currently having to go to work with a toxic boss who makes your life a living hell on a daily basis, you have a choice. You have many choices. I don't have a choice. I have to work there. I've heard all of it, right? You have a choice. You can find another job. You can learn emotional resilience. through this process that will allow you to go to with someone who's trying to make it a living hell and make it into something that is fun and bearable because you change. You change. kudos to anyone who can do that. That's, that's hard when you're getting beaten down on a daily basis, but I've seen people do it and it's incredible. The person they become, it's like this battleground every day and they get stronger and stronger and stronger, or you can just get beat up every day. I mean, that's happened too. So then, and in that case, if you just can't, take it, Go somewhere else, figure it out. But if you're in a toxic marriage right now that you're not quite ready to get out of or you're working on it, whatever these situations are, you have choices. You can change. I did it. I was in not the best marriage situation and I got to the point it was because of my life coach at the time. She told me, you figure out how to be happy in the situation you're in. Because if you don't, you're gonna leave a messed up person and just go find another messed up person to share another messed up marriage with. it just wasn't a real great marriage. Emotionally, we just weren't getting along very well. I was able to get to that point where I can genuinely say was happy in what should have been a pretty miserable situation. And then I felt like, okay, I'm now in a place where I can make that choice. And I felt like I could leave. sounds like you built your resilience up to that and made that change for yourself. I didn't have the best of merits myself many years back. Unfortunately, it was violent on the other person's side of things and it was tough. But again, what I learned from that was... building my assertiveness, my boundaries in place, looking at things like my "I" statements, what I require from things, and they weren't matching me. So I had to make that conscious choice. And again, it's all about taking a leap of faith, which I did, and I learned a lot from that, as harsh as sounds, I wouldn't ever be treated like that again. had to learn hard, we go through that self-discovery and sometimes when it comes to relationships we tend to forget who we are because we gel into kind of that other person. And then what do do? You want to break free? So sometimes I felt like I learned a lot when I was single, that I couldn't learn when I was married, and things I learned when I was married that I couldn't learn when I was single. So what would you tell someone who has been fighting but their willpower is waning? They're at the point where they're just so tired and they feel like giving up. all about the power of your thought cognitive flexibility, or what we call resilience. And instead of being trapped by unhelpful thoughts, you learn to challenge them. As you know, you're... I love that. we generally direct our mental energy towards solutions and possibilities. Because if we focus on how the world punished us, we're going to be absorbed by that energy. We're going to put so much brain focus onto that. And there's so many people go down that route and keep going around in that cycle and don't understand why they're in the same place. You have to make that change. that. Would you say that it's harder for people like this, to challenge the thought and think positively? Or to follow that rabbit hole down towards drowning? I feel like people say, it's just so hard and I remember it being hard because it wasn't in my nature. And yet... I feel like it's just as hard or harder to put that mental energy into a bad place, personally. When didn't even realize how hard I was making it. I thought, no, it's too hard to think positively. Can't do it. again, I wouldn't say so much thinking positively I think it's more having a solution-focused approach because if we have a look at what we tend to do when we're in that mindset whether it's beating ourselves up because we're not good enough for the world or blaming the world because we're in a particular position Until we've kind of worn ourselves out and looked at every single possible scenario we could possibly get through this. if we keep going around on that, not gonna find the answers we seek. And it isn't so much as saying, right, okay, you're in a real tough time and I expect you to sit down, bring in positivity. The last thing we're gonna do is that. But at the same time, what this is, is realizing, okay, I've been here before. How do I keep going around in this cycle? What can I change within this moment now? Instead of being trapped and thinking, But I've been in this position before and I've failed. Yeah, That's because you weren't ready to learn. Until you're ready to NOT go down the rabbit hole of the ultimate fear or worst case scenario. And you sit and what we do is stop. We learn to observe our thoughts. And then we question, right, okay, how can I change? What can I put in place? to make a different direction than what I'm used to doing because we're kind of built like a computer program, so to speak. So if we're in danger, we respond in our old ways. That's what we do. That's our defense mechanism. But if we respond in that same way and expect a different outcome, we're simply not going to get that. So we have to acknowledge that we have made the wrong choices, which has got us to where we are. But make that change forward. It's in that here and now moment of, this is where I am. I've been here, I know I've done it thousands of times throughout my journey in life. And I get frustrated that I'm still in this same place. Why am I not changing? And you think about how much brain space that takes and how much resilience you have to really learn. Even going down that dark way, you've got to build one hell of a resilience on that. But you think about if you switch it the other way and just stop in that moment and think, right, okay, how can I pull myself out of this hole? If I can push myself to breaking point of that dark place and overanalyze every possible worst case scenario, you think what you could do if you switch and you think, well, okay, what can I do to take a step forward? You My first step was going for walks late at night because there was hardly anyone around. So I started building my confidence and it's the same when people go to the gym. If you want to build up your endurance and stamina, you're not going to do it within that first day. You might push yourself and damage your body. I know plenty of people who do do that, but it's retraining your mind. You used to respond in the way you do. But we get to that stage when we get fed up of it and worn out by it. So want to make that change. So we build that resilience. And then we say, OK, what can I do to make that step forward? There's always something in front of us which we're in fear of, that barrier where we're not ready to face it. And as I said earlier, sometimes we have to step across that barrier of fear to find the answers we seek. And it is one of the hardest things for any of us to do. As you know yourself Jennifer, when you do do it, like you said, peeling away those layers and reflect back, you look at the relief you have when you take that first step. But then when you reflect on all the years, you tried the other route. And there's many people who I've known in my personal life and me included and my private work. How many times have we gone round in that cycle? How many times have we said, oh, we've done it again? But we're not ready to make that transition we're ready to learn. And I've seen some amazing people really push themselves to breaking point until they're ready to learn. Some people have to do that to have that realization, I want to change now. I think that point is available for everyone. Again, either here or there. Some people They die pretty miserable. It's my goal with this podcast to shorten that time for a lot of people so that they feel inspired by the things that Garon is saying and to help you understand you don't have to suffer any longer than you choose. When you're ready to change, it comes flooding in like an avalanche. it's real, it's powerful, all the things you need will show up feel inspiration. start knowing what to do, but you have to decide. And when you were describing that hole, had this visual of a person with a tool belt. and all the harnesses and things and there's a rope here. look it has a latch. How do I use this thing? Oh maybe I can get out of this hole and I think being where I was depressed was in that hole without any tools. completely stuck. I There's no way out of this. But what you teach your clients what I teach through this podcast what I teach people when I do sessions with them in astrology is how you tick tools you can use. that can get you out of this hole. And if you find yourself in that hole and suddenly you're like, yeah, I have these tools and you start trying them and maybe you've never tried them before. Maybe you've never swung a hammer. It's a little rough at first or you've never climbed a rope, but you start to try and you're like, wow, I made it five feet. And that's improvement. And you start to get stronger or you learn how to use the tools better and it becomes second nature for you that yeah, I've been here before in this hole. I know how to get out. No problem. know, and 10 minutes later, or an hour later, whatever it is, in some cases, three months later, when my husband left me, it took me three months to get out of that hole. But but I mean, that's pretty good for getting abandoned. I mean, that three months, that's not very long for that kind of a big kind of event. I was devastated, but. with that, with you saying that, it's like, she definitely put some work in there in three months and it sounds like you hit it head on and what I added to what you said earlier and I was kind of getting really excited about it in regards to that we find that in a spark and I mean it's what I say to people, when you find that in your spark, that's when the magic happens and well with you in three months, you must have really hit that head on and it's what I say to people. I was like, this sucks. This wasn't my fault. And I'm not going to let him ruin my life. And I said, God, you have three months to help me get through this. And after three months, I'm done processing. So let's get going. I would wake up at 3 a.m. Couldn't sleep. I'd go on eight mile runs. I scheduled lots of coaching appointments. I joined a soccer team. I hadn't played soccer in like 15 years, but I was like, love soccer. It'll be something that can do with other adults that will keep me occupied. And it scared me. I'm like, What if I suck? But I played on it. It was fun, I did these things that very proactive. I was like, I will sit here for one day and be sad. And now it's work time. Yeah, good on you. You've learned to get it done. If you can do it, I can do it. Your listeners can certainly do it. And it's being brave to take that step of that cycle. As you know, it's really hard. It's one of the hardest things to do. And then you're on the next stage, I'm on similar journey to yourself. We have wobbles, but it's all about maintaining it now. And put years of hard work into this. And let's be honest, life hits us sometimes with real big curve balls. But once you start learning the tools to work with it, it's becoming more... friend of anxiety and depression and working with it instead of kind of trying to fight against it. as a threat, can learn from. And something outside of yourself. Like I'll call it the spirit of anger, or the spirit of anxiety.... This isn't me. This is just something that I'm feeling right now. some sort of spirit that's not going to stay. They've gotta go. sure, sure. And the thing is what's powerful there, Jennifer, is that you're acknowledging it. How many times we ignored it. I mean, Just sit it. Yeah. about it. confronting, like you said, and observing it. I loved how you said the word observe. Don't judge it. Don't judge it. Just look at it. Make observations. As soon as you start judging, that's when you start going down that hole again. No judgment. Just look and get curious. 100 % I agree with you there. So is there anything else you would like to say to our listeners before we close today? What I would like to say to people out there is, you know, when you're in that dark place and hopefully I might be able to reach out to one of you, genuinely was in that dark place. And one of the hardest things I ever found was reaching out for support. But I can assure you the relief you have when that one person hears you. Even now I'm getting bit choked up about it now because it's one of the hardest things for any of us to do as you know, reaching out for help. So you can either contact Jennifer or even myself if you need ideas or even just send me an just to pick my brain if I can give you some idea to... help you pull yourself out of that hole, I'm more than happy to do so. So, just remember, find that inner spark and be brave. And I'm guessing there's really nothing you haven't heard. you think I'm the worst person on the planet, you can't possibly understand me. Trust someone like Garon. amazing. He would love to help you. There's no depth too far for someone to reach and bring you up. And we want to. We care about you. so how can people reach you, Garon? They can get hold of me through my website which is garongreentherapies.com. I'm still getting up to date with all my digital side but you can find me on TikTok and Instagram under @garongreentherapies; feel free to reach out if you've got any questions by all means, find me a question and I'll answer the best I can and if I can point you in the right direction it would be a true honour to do that. Yes, please just email him. an email, ask a question and see if it feels right for you. Thank you again, Garon, for meeting with me this morning. What time is it there in the UK? We're 20 past six in the evening. No. Yeah, exactly. a fresh day for me.

It's 10: 44:01

18 a.m. wow, well, whatever you do today and sincerely thank you so much for giving me this opportunity. I've locked this away for so many years, Jennifer, so thank you. You and the previous podcast I've had and I'm meeting so many people now who have given me confidence. So, sincerely thank you So If you want to go into a more deep dive into Garon's story I would encourage you to listen to his interview on the Mindscapes and Memoirs podcast it's on YouTube and I'll link that interview on my website, you'll find a link to that landing page in the description. Well, it's been a pleasure. you for your vulnerability and your willingness to turn your life into something just absolutely beautiful and helping So, This is the Overcome Depression podcast. You've heard from Garon Green and I am Jennifer Stirling-Campbell. See you next time.