53: DEPRESSION AND PERSONALITY: THESE MYTHS MAY BE KEEPING YOU STUCK!

Can personality tests worsen depression? Explore the popular 16 Personalities personality test and the depressing lies many people believe about personality types, identity, and mental health.

View all LINKS and supporting content mentioned in this episode HERE: https://imaquarius.com/depression-and-personality-these-myths-may-be-keeping-you-stuck-chapter3-53/

Personality assessments like the 16 personalities test can be a helpful self-awareness tool but can also lead to excuses, box-checking, and labeling.  Additionally, identifying with personal traits too fixedly can prevent healing and personal growth available to anyone with faith who is willing to live “outside their box,” understanding that personality traits are not necessarily permanent, and can shift due to life experience and healing.  If you’ve ever wondered whether your personality type explains your depression, your strained relationships, or your struggles with confidence, this episode will help you rethink those assumptions.

In this episode of the Overcome Depression Podcast, Jennifer breaks down Introversion vs. Extroversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Feeling vs. Thinking, and Judging vs. Perceiving—and explains how these traits influence the way we make decisions, process emotions, and interact with others. 

Through honest conversation and real-life examples, Jennifer and John encourage listeners to see personality as a starting point for self-discovery—not a life sentence.

If you’ve ever felt depressed by labels, misunderstood by others, or unsure about who you really are, this conversation will help you gain a healthier perspective on life, personality, and personal growth.

This episode of the Overcome Depression podcast is for you if you want to learn:

• How personality tests like the 16 personalities can contribute to feelings of limitation and resulting depression
• Five depressing myths people believe about personality types and identity - and how to refute them
• How Introversion/Extroversion, Sensing/Intuition, Feeling/Thinking, and Judging/Perceiving influence behavior and decision-making
• Why your personality is not fixed—and how personal growth, healing, and life experiences can change it
• How understanding personality differences can improve relationships,  empathy, and self-compassion

Transcript

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Here on the Overcome Depression podcast, we provide tools and other resources so that you can overcome depression. One of the tools that I have found particularly helpful is doing personality profiles and not necessarily for the reason you might think, personalities can change over time, believe it or not. And I wanted to mostly focus on this as a tool for relationships, not just relationships. for your family, your friends, but your relationship with God and with yourself. And understanding how you're ticking right now and maybe how other people around you are functioning and thinking at that time can give you kind of a baseline of where you want to go. What do you want to change? Because again, this is not a verdict of this is who you are if you take this test. It's more of here's where you are right now. an idea a baseline a starting point Do further analysis, you know know thyself so I think that the more personality tests you do, the more well-rounded you can start to see yourself because I think a lot of people who struggle with mental health, are putting themselves into boxes. we like to label things. We just do. We like to put them into categories. That's what humans do. we're trying to get out of that but at the same time, educate ourselves again, that baseline of where we are right now. and doing it in a well-broad way. Because I know that me understanding the people around me really did help me to change the way I them or thought of them So first of all, before you listen to this podcast about the 16 personalities, which is what we're going to be focusing on would encourage you, if you haven't taken this test before, or if you've taken it maybe even just a year ago, it would be good to take it again without learning about how the test works because you're more likely to get an accurate result if you go into it without overthinking it. Just answer the questions honestly. The other thing to consider is that if you are out of alignment or you're really not in a good place emotionally, there's a good chance that you will get a result that isn't authentic to your developed self. So for example, the letters that are used in this personality profile are, I and E for the extrovert or introvert, S or an N for sensing or intuition, F or T for feeling or thinking, and J or P for judging and perceiving. And this combination can make up to 16 of these personality profiles based on how you answer in the test. But you could be coming up with ENFP in your out of alignment, mentally ill, state when really after you develop and heal you could be more of an ISTJ like the polar opposite of what you think you are. So keep that in mind as well. is again this is just a baseline where are you today? It changes. You will be different in 10 years than you are right now. Right. And if you are having difficulties, you can use this to help understand how other people see you And if you don't feel that that is accurate, then maybe that's where you need to make the change. Cause obviously it's not matching up, especially when you have your own self view. When you see yourself one way, but you take a program like this, Or if you talk to therapist it might just be that you are not seeing what other people see. So it can be very beneficial to have a neutral party doing an analysis like this. And one of these tools is essentially that. for instance, when I took this, it seems like it has judged me fairly accurately, but there's a few parts of this I disagree with, you know, and, um, one were you, John? let's see according to this I am an introvert intuitive About 50 50 between thinking and feeling and What they call judging? n t j with a dash a saying that I am assertive. And if you think about it, wait a minute, if I'm an introvert, how am I also assertive? Just going by the names alone, it makes you question a little. I'm gonna explain that one because that's a very misunderstood concept, introversion versus extroversion. So I'm gonna teach you something today, John, I'm excited. But that's so cool, because my husband came out with INFJ, I came out with INFJ, and I took it yesterday and I got INTJ. But again, it can change based on the day. And those are some of the rarest. There's like several that are like 2%, and that's one of them. And then INFJ is supposedly under 2%, it's funny. keep finding people in category of INF or TJ. because they aren't that common. So there's several things to be aware of. Benjamin Hardy, wrote, personality isn't permanent. I'm getting some of these ideas from him and his book. there are some lies currently believes as a whole and I think he's right about them. first lie, is personalities can be categorized into types. He believes this cannot be done. And just like John was saying, like, I don't necessarily agree with this, again, human beings, like to put things in boxes. And some employers will use this test and weed out applicants just based on their personality. And there's 0 % proof this particular test Results in hiring employees that work better than someone who had a different personality they wouldn't even consider So it has been used for things that aren't that great just lie, number two Personality is innate and fixed again this is who you are You're never gonna change accept it. deal with your lot or do the best you can we can change our third lie, personality comes from your past Personality must be discovered. I need to find out who I am. No, decide who you want to be. And personality is your true and authentic self. lie, So don't take this test and then adopt a very narrow viewpoint of yourself. That's not the idea here. Again, it's about finding empathy and compassion and understanding for yourself of where you are right now and others around you. So you can go to 16personalities.com and take the test. If you haven't already, again, stop this podcast, go take it and then come back so you can get a more accurate result. But basically the 16 personalities measure how you observe the world and how you make decisions. So it's to say, as of right now in my life, this is what I'm leaning into as of what I do and I don't like. it's interesting because when I compared my personality to my mom's, I've talked many times about my mom and how much we butted heads we just didn't get each other. We were constantly pissing each other off and we weren't even trying to. It And I realized after she 16 personalities test that we were literally the polar opposite. In other words, the things that mattered to me did not matter to her and vice versa. What drove me, what motivated me did not motivate her and vice versa. it was easy to misunderstand each other because we were coming from completely different views of life and mindsets, despite the fact that we shared the same religion and we're trying to be good people and all those things. There were just fundamental differences in our personalities that made it hard to click. And understanding that and having that compassion helps me to care about things that she cares about, because she cares about them, even if I don't care about it. And not feeling like, what's wrong with you? Why aren't you more like me? Or why don't you see things like I do? A different lens looking at the world, looking at a situation. one of favorite quotes is, it's okay to agree to disagree. when you recognize that you have opinions, you might have different personalities certain regards. But as long as you have respect for one another and you recognize those differences, and then you look for where you do agree, where can you form a bond? You know, looking for the good that is the... analogy of walking in somebody else's shoes, you haven't lived their life, you don't understand, you can't. You can't possibly understand another person fully because you're not them. Only God can do that. comes down to compassion and respect. compassion, respect, this morning when I was driving into work, I saw the sunrise I was blown away by it. And then it also got me thinking the car behind me and the car in front of me are still looking at that same sunrise. but from totally different angles. And then there was someone on a hillside way off to the left. So it's like we're all looking at that same sunrise, but it's all different perspectives. If you painted a picture of it, they'd all look different. Exactly and that's know there was one art teacher on a regular basis would take their students out to a hillside and tell them paint a picture of one of the flowers and every painting was different because they were all coming from all the different angles and different events. You know, they modify people, which is why we say even though you might have a personality now it can and will change. And one of the things that changes that the most is just experience living life people interacting with people interacting with events can change your personality in a favorable way or an Unfavorable way it all boils down to What you do with that? It's like another little warning that sometimes when people look at these tests or they get judged based on their personality, they use that as an excuse for their poor behavior or poor decisions when it's really not. again, don't let health is not an excuse for poor behavior, and neither is a personality profile. I talk about that number 23 the Overcome Depression podcast, if you want to go back and listen to that one. But yeah, the reason I love astrology so much is because there isn't a single chart that's the same. they're all. different because we're all different. no test out there that can tell everyone exactly who you are. But with that said, let's dissect the 16 personalities profile. And the first one I'm excited to teach you, John, is about extroversion and introversion. So the first letter of the four is an I or an E. Both John and I, we have an I. Introverts. And a lot of people think of introversion as shy and quiet and kind of unconfident, or they just like to read books or be alone. And some of them do do that. However, that's not what I would call a healthy introvert. Introversion versus extroversion is not about being friendly versus quiet or loud versus soft. Ironically, it's actually about how you charge. So if you feel energized by going to a party or a crowd and being around a lot of people, you love places like New York City, you're probably extrovert. If you get charged up and rejuvenated from being alone, reading a book, having quiet time, even though you love being out and around people, but you need time to kind of go and be by yourself afterwards, kind of recharge, get your energy back. Where do you get your energy from? Being around people or not being around people? That's introversion versus extroversion. And my dad, some people might be surprised if they knew my dad, they would think, oh, definite extrovert. If you knew my dad really well, you would know he was definitely an introvert. Because while he was acting and very flamboyant and loud in class and he was a teacher and he was a great speaker, when he was done with that, he was a book and that was his happy place. Oh my goodness, loved just him and a book. in fact, one of my sisters was talking about extraversion versus introversion based on this test and she was like, yeah, dad was an extrovert and the rest of us were like, oh no. He was not. Mom's an extrovert. Mom loves New York City. She loves to be around people. so that's really the difference. It's not excited and loud versus soft because you can Matthew Hussey actually put it this way. He said that being shy is not a sign of introversion. It's a sign of a lack of confidence. And I completely agree. That's true, yeah. are shy, it's not a trait. that you can, be proud of. It's nothing to be proud of to be shy accept that you can be friendly, communicative, enjoy talking to other people and have confidence we don't need more people who are shy. We need people speaking up. and I used to be painfully shy. me too and I can actually relate to that definition because by profession I a teacher lo and behold and I spend all day surrounded by teenagers in the public talking to parents and I don't have a problem with that. I am I'm perfectly comfortable. I'm in my world there Then when I come home, first thing I do is change clothes, sit down read a book or a show on TV And I just sit there quiet with my own thoughts And an extrovert might be like, okay, I'm gonna go out and find someone to hobnob with at the local restaurant. Because that's how they rejuvenate. couple of my coworkers and I can think of one right now. That's what he does after work. He always goes out to the restaurant or out to the bar. always inviting others to come out with him, So he's at a fair, nobody coming to talk to him and he's like utterly bored and miserable and he says, it's so tiring. So yeah, that does make sense. then as far as introversion and extroversion, we all have some of each. We're a mix, right? It's 70-30 or 40-60, 50-50. Extreme introverts and extreme extroverts are rather uncommon. just as a general rule. usually coming at combo. So S and N is the next letter. Sensing or intuition. and I have kind of a bias in favor of intuitives because we're only 70 % of the population. the whole world is ruled and run by sensors. So it's hard being an intuitive and sitting back and going, people doing it this way? Why are the laws like this? And it's because sensors run the show. So intuitives are looking at patterns and higher level concepts and the big picture, futuristic, what is meaningful, how will my choices right now have the greatest all-around impact with the future in mind? what's really the best thing to do. Sensors. I think everyone in my family is a sensor except for me. you have, I found being in a family that's either heavy on the sensing or heavy on the intuitive can be a challenge when you're with the dynamic because the person who's the outlier really gets misunderstood. in my immediate family, as far as me, my husband, my kids. The only sensor is my 16 year old son, which is kind of rare, you know, to have that many intuitives in one household. My family growing up, everyone was sensing and I was an intuitive. So it was almost like, what's wrong with her? why doesn't she agree with all of us? Why is she always thinking this way when we all agree that this is the right thing to do? it can be to be in a family with this kind of dynamic. So keeping that in mind. But the sensors want results right now. They're looking at the five senses. How am I feeling, seeing, hearing, touching, and wanting to find comfort in the here and now and making choices based on what will provide that comfort in the here and now. often seeking out entertainment or quick solutions. They're the people who get really excited. when big news comes out about something that was just terrible that just happened and they're the ones going, need change now! We need to make these laws, we need to do this stuff and the the intuitive are going, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, can we wait till all the information comes out and then we can make a logical good decision that's, rational instead of just these emotionally charged decisions that's often where I'm sitting and going, oh my gosh, Do you focus on the puzzle piece or do you focus on the puzzle? Yeah, that's kind of the difference. And I hate to sound like I'm bagging on sensors. It's just, it's hard being the minority as an intuitive and watching the world go round. they're definitely needed, we definitely need fast solutions. you need a balance of both, for sure. everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and it's a mix and a match a pool and a tug and that's what makes the world go round oh and you are an ENFP, that's the most common intuitive type. I'm definitely registered as an intuitive. Actually, 84% intuitive. Wow. I can't remember what mine was. I think it was 7030 or something like that, Okay, the next one is an F or a T, feeling or thinking. this is where I think I had the closest to 50-50 It's basically the two ways we make decisions, feeling or thinking. And feeling can be emotional, but it's more like what value do I give to this thing? good or bad? Is it beneficial or non-beneficial? Do I and others like it? Do we not like it? thinking is more logical. It's more mathematical. It's procedural. Does it make sense? How does it work? Does it work at all? Is it true? interestingly, 60 % of men the thinking.% of women are feeling. So the other 40 % would be swapped. was the only one that was gender specific was a, there was a definite favor of women being more feeling, which makes a lot of sense because of how we tend to operate. And I'm sure you would agree, John, that women can be a little more feelers, a little more emotional, tiny bit slightly more connected to, sensitive things and children and all that. mean the test came back for me that know, I'm like 56 % on the thinking side So well balanced between the two and issues. There was a point in my life When I would say I was probably almost 90 % thinking because that a when I was Not well, I literally look back and I always say I would not like my former self very much because I was very cold, very icy. And that point in my life, I said, emotion feeling is worthless. that's how far I had dropped, years later, I'm compassion for that former self? Because you remember what it was like to be in that place. What got you there? I feel kind of sorry for my previous self sometimes. Like, aww, poor girl. Instead of demonizing her. Well, as I have always said, a lot of times God allows us to go through certain situations so that way we can empathize when we encounter other people going through a similar scenario. looking back, I see where I made my mistakes and If I ever encounter those types of people, I can actually work pretty well with them because I can relate perfectly. You know, I was there. I get it. Yeah, I understand. is a common quote is that when you have a family, man is the head of the family, but the wife is the heart of the family. Always compassion. Yeah, it's true. It really is. Not that men don't have a heart, because they do, and not that women don't think lead, because they do too. It's a balance. But you need that balance of male and female, and it's important. So J or P is the next one. It's judging or decisions or perceiving, which is more observations. So again, judging or perceiving. according to this, I'm judgmental. Oh no. the choice of word. I don't know. But we'll see what you guys think. Perceiving is looking inward to make decisions. the inner voice, right? But also, it's more like, what do I want, regardless of what's going on around me? and you would tend to want to get as much information as possible. But the funny thing about that to me is that type doesn't want to organize any of the information that they get. So it's just like tons of info that they're just mulling around in their brain. then they're making decision based on really what is it that they want of all these things that they're considering. They tend to be more spontaneous and disorganized, but these people also tend to be a little more relaxed and fun. Are you and I not very fun? We're judging. No. So judging is, this is actually kind of cool. And again, we have a combination of both, right? They like to get a good sample of what everyone else is doing. And I see myself doing this. I'll look at what everybody's doing and what kind of results they're getting. It's not like care about being popular or doing it because everyone's doing it. It's more like, how's that working out for them? the judging types tend to take in less information, like they'll this, this, and then they'll just think about those particular considerations and put them all together in an organized fashion in their brain and then make a choice based on the pros and cons of the data that they've collected. But it's not a buttload terrible amount of data, Yeah, You don't like spontaneity as much you plan ahead you have plan Plan B plan C plan D We always have to put together emergency lesson plans and They keep it on file in the event that I or a teacher calls off unexpectedly know, administration can go in, grab one of these emergency plans. So that way they have something for a substitute to do. And they always kind of chuckle at me because I'm about a month ahead of where I'm actually. I, I like they often say I overdo it. Yeah. I love being spontaneous. I like having kind of an open schedule to be able to do what I want. But as far as organization, I'm like organized queen over here. And I kind of have to be in order to function because I have a very cluttered brain that forgets things if I don't. really keep them organized and where I can find them but I would say definitely more a judging, I think. And I will tell you one of my favorite things to do to my friends and my family is to out of nowhere, just be spontaneous off the cuff because then they all freak out because they're like, wait a minute. What is wrong with you? What's going on? I'm so rigid at times that when I do something like that, just totally catches them off guard. that's fun. But you planned for it. Which is funny, because that's the organized part. You're like, I'm going to do it at this time. This person. You just had to ruin it. by pointing that out. Yes, I do plan on being spontaneous. So the percentages, if you know what you are, this is kind of fun. Almost one in four people are sensing, feeling, and judging. That's kind of a lot. orderly, practical, making sure everybody's feeling good. The ISFJ 14 % of the population, that's the most, then followed closely by the ESFJ, which are pretty similar. That makes almost 25 % even right there. Then you've got the ISTJ, which as common for women as it is for men, it's still 12 % of the population. Then ISFP is 9%. And that particular one, I guess they really like to go to the beat of their own drum. That's those people. ESTJ, 9%. And again, these are rounded, because it was like 8.43, and I'm like, I'm not gonna say that. ESFP, about 8%. and the six most common types, they're all sensors. Then we've got ENFP, 8%, ISTP, 5%, INFP, 4%. Now we're getting down to these little tiny numbers, so even the rare types, you add them up they make up about 20 % of the population, ESTP is 3%, ENTP is 3%, and the last four are all intuitive and judging, least common. So ENFJ, 2.5%, INTJ, 2%, ENTJ, 2%, and INFJ, 1.5%, when I had my husband take the test because like, gosh, it would be nice to have someone who understands me and how my mind works. Wouldn't it be cool if I could find an INFJ? And he took test and he was an INFJ and I'm like, oh, I found him! I was really excited. But again, it does not define you. He already had amazing qualities. I was already sold. I just thought that was extra cool. It's always nice to find that I am a rare find. Rare gem you are, John. And I sure do appreciate you. that is the extent of my lesson the 16 personalities. I hope you enjoyed it, John and audience. I did and you probably heard us laughing, because you you do also have to take it like a grain of salt a little bit of humor with because it is just Tool don't let it define you don't use it as an excuse learn what they have to say, take it for what it is it can be fun. And also to realize that you're not set in stone because I can tell you from personal experience and Jennifer can tell you this. My personality today is different. than it was a year, two years, three years ago. And I guarantee my personality a year from now, two years from now, it's going to change. You know, there's different events. we think think about who you were 10 years ago. For example, did you think you would be who you are now 10 years ago? I some people are slow movers, they don't evolve as much as others, but would be unrecognizable to you if you saw me 10 years ago. Yeah, I've changed my life at least twice I mean like literally how to restart my life and each one of those events changed me. And I like to think that it's in a positive fashion, with telling my students that one of my biggest traits is honesty honesty above when you were a youngin'. No, it was not. I could lie through my teeth and because I was unemotional, most people couldn't even tell because I was cold and unfeeling but one of the things I actually had to learn I was overly honest in that I didn't mince my words. I would tell people exactly what I thought of them. And I didn't have an emotional filter and I, I have this one example and my gosh. a woman came over and did the classic does this dress make me look fat? And I gave my honest opinion. said, well. actually around your thighs right there it does hug you a little bit close so you might want to and i see jennifer's face it's funny because that was like the reaction of all the girls in my classroom and they're like you did not I think that's generally sensitive response. mean, if a woman is gonna ask that question, she needs to be prepared for the answer. Don't ask that if you don't want someone to tell you the truth. I don't know. I mean, my response to someone would be like, I really don't like that dress on you. There's other dresses that look so much better. Let's try some more. Exactly, so if you ask me a question like that and I don't answer and I'm thinking about it that's because I am thinking the best way to answer you or just to say not gonna answer that and call it a day, ah there's so many labels we like to put on ourselves, including, this is my personality or I'm a Scorpio or whatever it is. I'm going to read you a fabulous quote by Paul Graham. he was an entrepreneur and very successful one at that. He says, the more labels you have for yourself, the dumber they make you. Yeah, I agree. So again, don't label yourself as this is me. Just this is what I'm doing right now. this is my sign but it doesn't define me. I have a choice. I can change these things. I can turn this darkness or these propensities or tendencies into strengths go and improve your relationships, be more compassionate with yourself others as we're all trying to improve. We're all just little babies down here trying to learn how to walk, quite frankly. So be patient as you go through this program on the Overcome Depression podcast. want to thank John again for being here with us today, providing amazing conversation We will see you next time. Bye now.